Iâ€™m feeling fairly random todayâ€¦
Back in Seattle for the weekend, feeling a little out of place. This seems to be a growing problem whenever I come back here. Itâ€™s almost like I no longer belong to this place, itâ€™s just a place to visit and thatâ€™s all. I donâ€™t know if this means that Iâ€™m supposed to come back or not.
Thereâ€™s the feeling of needing to disappear, to just vanish out there and move on. Iâ€™ve had this feeling before, so Iâ€™m not startled by it, but it seems to be occurring more often than it used to. There was a point where I actually mapped out a plan to disappear while traveling somewhere. Now Iâ€™m looking back at those plans and realizing itâ€™s becoming more and more appealing to just wander away. Itâ€™s not because I donâ€™t love my friends or family, itâ€™s just a desire to keep moving.
Maybe I need to travel further away. When I lived in Doha I was still in touch with everyone, but I was far away. Now I just want to be far away again.
Someone said this might be depression talking, but I donâ€™t really think it is. Iâ€™m living my own dream, working with great people and doing a job thatâ€™s not really a job, but fun. I have a friend who says he hasnâ€™t worked a day in his life, since itâ€™s not work if you love what you do.