Clutter

Being out of debt is good, but then there’s the other clutter in my mind, people from the past who keep making unexpected appearances, things I did to people in the past that may or may not have had a good effect on them or me (I suppose I would know so maybe this is just crap on my part), and people I care for but can’t seem to tell them. How funny is that?

I saw the person I want to tell those three words to over new years, but was I able to say it? Nope, not able to. One, she’s happy. So why muck around with it? Two, she doesn’t feel the same way about me, so why muck up myself? Three, I’m not there, even if the second item changed what am I supposed to do about it? Four, I’m a complete moron when it comes to my feelings and how they effect others, so refer back to mucking myself up. I suppose I’ve talked myself out of it, so what’s the deal? Oh yeah I almost forgot, I never forget crap and I like to muck myself up at every chance I get.

I went home for New Years, what a great idea that was, not only did I surprise my mom, aunt and brother, but I got the chance to see my niece and nephew, wow they have grown. But I also got the chance to see friends I’ve not seen in years. It was a good trip minus BA loosing three of my four bags. I guess I was worried about it for maybe five minutes, but if you can’t do anything about it then why worry? I could worry about a little thing like I packed most of my life into those four bags and have only gotten two out of the four back so far, and the two missing contain all my archives of photos from the last 10 years. But why worry about something like that? It just means I have to go back to those places and get the photos again? Or I could just use this as the perfect excuse to move on, take it as the hint that it is as a point in which I can start fresh. I like that idea, maybe it’s time to start again…