I’ve not been able to sleep for the last few nights, my brain has gone into overdrive and I can’t seem to stop it. I don’t think it has to do with the time of year, although it could very well have something to do with a life changing event that happened just a short month from now. Last year I was in the mid east and I didn’t have this same anxiety, of course I was so exhausted from working long hours that it didn’t matter how much my brain wanted to keep me up, my body knew what was best. This year is completely different it seems, my anxiety level is high my sleep is low and I can’t seem to meditate my thoughts away to deal with them at a normal hour, hence why I’m up at 5:00 writing a blog entry that I can’t even post till I find some internet access.
Why am I anxious? A couple of standout reasons are I’m leaving a job very soon, I am trying to line up other work but it’s proving difficult this time of year. The second shouldn’t really have anything to do with my being anxious but it does, I like this person and I don’t really know what to say to her. (I know what you’ll say to this JB so you can save your comment till I see you in person :-).) I am anxious about this liking someone as I’ve not really “liked” someone since my ex-wife, not only that but I’ve not asked someone out on a date since 1997, so I’m a little out of practice and that’s freaking me out just by itself!
I don’t know if I’m just looking for advice or if I just needed to write this down so I could stop thinking about it at 3:00 AM. I’m hoping that the act of writing it down will help me sleep a little more tonight / this morning, but there’s no guarantees in this world when it comes to me and my sleep.